the penultimate supper* treatment

Well, after last time, it is nice to be able to make a good post again!

Me and the blankie Julie made for me (note the Tinkerbell border). Those of you lucky enough to have a hand-made Julie blankie can appreciate how special this gift is. Thank you so much, Julie!

I got my fluids on Thursday, along with an antiemetic. It really made me feel much better. But I was still apprehensive about the weekend. John was going out of town which would leave ma at home alone. I wasn't prepared to deal with any emergencies that might pop up. So my Mom and Julie came up to stay with me. I felt well enough that we were able to have fun playing games and watching movies. And we also got 8-weeks worth of laundry done - a minor miracle! Not to mention about a dozen of other household tasks that I'd been putting off.

We had such a good weekend - I was so so so appreciative that they were able to come - I can't express how much it meant to me :)

Moving on to the Penultimate of it all...



Today, I reached a milestone I have only dreamed about: The Penultimate Treatment Day. The Last-But-One. Which means, inevitibly, only ONE LEFT!!!

I could hardly sleep last night. Even Vitamin-V didn't help. I heard the cuckoos at 12, I heard the cuckoos at 1, I heard the cuckoos at 4, I heard the cuckoos at 5. Eventually, I gave in and just layed in bed thinking about how much I've dreamed of this day.

Because although it is the penultimate treatment day, it was the last external beam radiation and the last chemotherapy. Let me say that again - the LAST external beam radiation and the LAST chemotherapy! YIPPEE!!!!!

Radiation was first. I arrived early (John couldn't be with me, but he dropped me off on time. Thank you, John!) and was hardly able to keep my glee contained. I was on such an adrenaline rush that I felt as if I might float down the hallway rather than walk. There was one other person waiting, and she opened the floodgates with one simple phrase. "How are you today?" That was IT - I couldn't contain my excitement. I told her how I was finally at the end, how I never thought this day would come, how I can't even remember what it was like to not have to go to radiation every day. And then I felt bad, because for her, it was just starting. I had seen her a few times, but only recently. Still, she was happy for me and I encouraged her that if I can get through it, anyone can!

When a member of my team came to take me back to the radiation room, she commented on how excited I looked. How could I not?!? I was on the verge of tears (happy tears) when all of a sudden, out of the radio floats my song - "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison. That was it: the tears, they did a-flow! But not too much, and my team understood. When I said goodbye to them, it wasn't very emotional because I will see them again Wednesday.

Then it was off for my weekly visit with Dr F. Every week, I have to fill out a sheet of questions: How do you feel this week? Do you have any pain? Do you have any treatment-related problems? Do you have any questions? My answer to the first question said it all - How do I feel? EXCITED!!!! There wasn't really anything medical for Dr F and I to discuss, so we just talked. He asked if there's anything I'd like to do now that I'm at the end, explaining that some people like to try new things. I told him I'd like to learn to surf, which led to a discussion about the VW show my club is planning for February (www.daytonawinterjam.com if you're interested). I asked him how long before I can get a tattoo (Dr F said 6 weeks, but Dr M's team advised that I should wait until after my 6-month check-up). I asked again about eating Brussels sprouts, which Dr F advised against as they are gas-producing and I am supposed to avoid those foods. I stated very matter-of-factly that I don't care what I have to endure in the aftermath, I will have my Brussels sprout! Even if it's just one :)

So right after, I headed upstairs for chemo. I checked in at Dr M's office. He wasn't there, but much of his team was and they wished me well and shared my enthusiasm for reaching this LAST CHEMO! One of them, G (she handles insurance) commented that I'm one of their favorite paitents. I said they must say that to everyone, but G assured me that is not true. I was, again, almost in tears as I headed up the elevator.

I couldn't believe it. I was signing into the chemo center for the LAST time. It was only to be my 7th treatment, but it felt like I'd been going forever. Nurse M came and got me and she also shared in my elation. I chose chair 12, the same chair I sat in for my very first chemo, 8 weeks ago. MT Jeanne came to sit with me, and we resumed our Scrabble game from a few weeks ago. (She won. Takes no pity on the infirmed!) We talked, we shared some sandwiches, I took about a gazillion trips to the bathroom. When it was all over, I hugged some of the nurses goodbye while fighting back tears, but I'll see them again. I'm having labs done next Monday, and I'll have my f#$%ing port flushed every month. So they'll see me, but it won't be the whole Platinum treatment.


And for those of you still hanging in and keeping score, notice how there's only ONE TREATMENT LEFT!!!!!! (Wednesday, 6am)




PS - if you're interested in the origin of the title of this post, read the footnote below.






* Monty Python: Michelangelo and the Pope, c. 1979

Pope: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper."
Michelangelo: Oh, yeah?
Pope: I'm not happy about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don't like?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?
Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I'll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo: Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
Pope: Aah.
Michelangelo: All right?
Pope: That's the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.
Michelangelo: Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one.
Pope: No, that's not the point.
Michelangelo: All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
Pope: That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!
Michelangelo: Too many?
Pope: Well, of course it's too many!
Michelangelo: Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
Pope: There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of the others ones came along afterw...
Pope: There were only twelve altogether.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
Pope: Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
Michelangelo: No friends?
Pope: No friends.
Michelangelo: Waiters?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Cabaret?
Pope: No!
Michelangelo: You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could...
Pope: Look! There were only twelve disciples at...
Michelangelo: I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!
Pope: What?
Michelangelo: Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this, is the "Penultimate Supper"!