welcome to my nightmare nadir

Those of you that aren't medical-types will surely be asking yourselves "what's a nadir?" I asked myself that very question, but the internet is a wonderful thing! And it also helps that I have an inside source (thanks MT Bee!)

OK, so in a nutshell, a nadir is basically a low-point. A bottoming-out, when all my blood counts are at their lowest point.

Chemotherapy is designed to attack any fast-reproducing cells, since cancer cells reproduce quickly. But there are lots of other cells that reproduce quickly that are killed as well: the lining of the mouth and intestines, hair cells, etc.

Blood cells all develop from stem cells in bone marrow, and stem cells usually don't reproduce quickly. But the blood cells that develop from stem cells go through a period when they divide rapidly, and this is when they are vulnerable to being destroyed by chemo. As the mature blood cells die off, and the newly forming blood cells are being killed off, the nadir point is achieved.

And that is where I am. The biggest dangers are from threat of infection and bleeding. I am susceptible to infection because I am not producing enough white blood cells. And bleeding is an issue because I have very low platelets so my blood won't clot. Thus, basically I have to live like a hermit for a while. Can't leave the house, can't be around germy people. I have to be really careful what I eat. I have to wash my hands more obsessively than ever. I have to be careful not to cut myself. Can't use knives, scissors, razor, nail clippers. Have to be careful not to scratch myself, or to be scratched by my cats.

On top of that, my hemoglobin is also low. This makes me feel tired and worn-down, and makes the other lingering side-effects feel that much worse.

So not only am I living like I'm the boy-in-the-bubble, I also feel on the crappy side. I feel like doing nothing. I lie in bed watching TV with the Kittens until I get so sick of the site of my own bedroom that I migrate to the living room. But after a while, I get sick of being there so I head back to the bedroom. Meals are boring and flavorless, designed simply to keep me sustained rather than for enjoyment. And because I'm listless, I rarely turn on my computer. Which should be shocking to any of you that know how addicted to being wired I am. I apologize to anyone that was expecting a prompt response to an email and didn't get one - I'm reading emails on my phone, but can't respond to them that way.

But the bright side is that today is the END of my nadir, which means I should be starting to reproduce stem cells and thus blood cells any time now. I should be completely back to normal in three to four weeks, but between now and then my counts should increase steadily.

Don't you feel educated? I expect thanks if any of this info helps you win at Trivial Pursuit!